Listening to the amazing speakers who have traveled from all around the country, pouring out their stories at a level which is uncommon in every day life, the clients can witness the power. There is power in recovery.  There is power in laughter. There is power in numbers. The first step of AA says that its members should admit they are powerless over alcohol. This amazing gathering tonight shows that, in fact, there is power available out there, if it is sought.

Although most of our clients are not currently seeking what AA is selling, many current members of that program were not seeking the abstinence-based spiritual program that AA sells when they found what they never knew they were looking for. I have no expectations that this will happen with all, or even a single one, of my clients will now suddenly love AA. As they say in AA, an expectation is nothing more than a premeditated resentment. I refuse to put my expectations on my clients. Nonetheless, this type of experience only comes to Omaha once a year, and it happens to fall on a night when Abintra is having its group.

Grateful that this type of experience is available for those in need of it…

More people kill themselves in America every year then die by homicide, war, and terrorism…COMBINED.  Yet, only celebrity suicides make the news, which is perhaps the worst aspect because these cases only prompt copycats.  Nonetheless, most suicides don’t make the news, but every murder does. To add to the taboo, families will often never tell even extended family members the true cause of death. Silence becomes both the rule and the problem.

Family members, left to deal with the pain of the suicide and the memories of the loved one, often who died all too young, then become at an increases risk for suicide themselves, especially if the person who completed the suicide was their parent.  The pain on the part of the individual is unimaginable to most. So, too, is the pain of the family and friends afterwards. But, silence remains the rule, even if they survive the attempt, the social stigma associated with that word makes it unimaginable to discuss the event. Silence, however, in this case, is not golden. After all, it is not the movies, and this is not an act. It is the end of a human’s life.

Just a few days ago, a client came into my office in tears. A friend had killed himself three days earlier. She had just found out because the family did not tell any of the friends. There was no article in the newspaper or online. There wasn’t even a published obituary. Perhaps her family blamed the friends. Perhaps he blamed his family for his issues. Perhaps this could have been prevented. We will never know, because nobody will talk about it. That is the problem, not the solution. But, my client talked with me. She cried. She felt angry.

And this is the typical response. Anger, if not, rage, which stems from the fear of the unknown. Perhaps. Maybe. Just maybe, if we talked about it more and took the topic of suicide out if the realm of taboo, we would not be so scared. We would have more knowledge about the topic, and those hurting, either prior to their own attempt, or after the attempt  of a loved one, would be able to speak openly. With knowledge comes power, and with conversion comes knowledge. This knowledge could help prevent what has been called the most preventable form of death, suicide.

This coming week I will be teaching a group of college counselors a suicide prevention technique called QPR, a method written by Dr. Paul Quinett, author of two books on suicide, its realities, and its prevention. However, even in the days preceding the teaching of this course, this author’s immediate circle is not immune to the reality of suicide, as someone he cares about is currently in the hospital after surviving a suicide attempt. Thoughts and prayers go out to him, his family, and the families of those who attempt and complete suicide every day.

Just on the time it took to wrote this short article on my smart phone, at least two people have completed a suicide here in the United States, as someone completes their suicide attempt every 16 minutes.

Break the taboo. Ask the question. It could save a life.

If you or someone you know is showing signs of being suicidal, please use the below resources to get help!

Suicide Prevention Resources:

http://www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org/ http://www.suicideprevention.nebraska.edu/ http://www.qprinstitute.com/

Ryan Paul Carruthers is the Owner and Executive Director of Abintra Counseling Center, is a licensed addictions counselor, and a certified QPR gatekeeper trainer. For more information on this topic and many others, or to have Ryan come speak to a group, please visit his website: www.abintracenter.com.

Now, if there was indisputable empirical evidence that this one way of helping people was far and away better than any other, this domination may be more acceptable.  But, this is not the case.  In fact, the research on 12-step meetings has been mixed at best.  So, how did it come to be that this one way, which many legitimately complain is extreme, come to dominate treatment America?

Well, to start with, substance abuse treatment in America has not always been a professional field, meaning that treatment was traditionally run by recovering addicts and alcoholics.  They, almost without any exception, found their recovery through Alcoholics Anonymous.  So, treatment centers became advocates for AA.  This, by itself is not problematic.  But, the exclusion of other methods of recovery, especially those that are either not abstinence-based or not spiritual, is problematic, especially when not all of this with substance user disorders wendy or require abstinence or spirituality, which is most certainly the case.

So, at Abintra Counseling Center, we make sure to provide true freedom for our clients, providing a full-range of options, including harm reduction- and moderation-based options.  In addiction treatment were a democracy, this most certainly not be an option, as a recent research article found that, in the United States, over 93% of all mutual help meetings were 12-step based.  Statistics for treatment centers are similar.  Even though this is not a popular choice with other treatment centers, we invoke our right to freedom as well as fighting for our clients’ right to make truly free choices in regards to their recovery and, ultimately, their lives. 

For more information regarding these alternatives, visit or website: www.abintracenter.com and these other sites, all programs that Abintra Counseling uses in the promotion of helping clients find their strength “from within…”

Moderation Management
Rational Recovery
SMART Recovery

All of this is the result of Abintra Counseling Center being purchased by Ryan Paul Carruthers, who had previously served the last five years as the Assistant Director under the former owner, Debra K. Davidson.  Abintra Counseling and Ryan wish Deb the best of luck moving forward with her future endeavors.  Without her vision for Abintra seven years ago, none of this would have been possible.

Going forward, Ryan is looking forward to expanding Abintra’s services to include: more mental health services; more family specific services, including parenting classes; and expanding their substance abuse services to other locations, in order to better serve the community.  Included with this physical expansion is the digital expansion.  In the coming weeks and months, Ryan will be establishing a blog on all topics related to addiction and mental health.

Away we go, right into the future!

Chances are, the experience fully lived up to your negative expectations, maybe even surpassing them.  But, what if you were on the other side of that experience.  You worked there, day in and day out.  Everyone coming in the door has an attitude towards you, at best one of apathy.  How would that weigh on you?  What kind of pressure would that put on you?  How would you treat those coming in, expecting that the attitude was going to be there, and trying to defend yourself from that attitude?

Well, this is an accurate description of the work-life of a drug and alcohol counselor.  The only difference is that most of the clients coming in do not have to come in once; some will have to come in ten hours a week for an extended period of time.  With this being the reality, it is not surprising that there are high turnover rates in this profession.  So, what can we, as drug and alcohol counselors, do?

I introduce the Abintra attitude.  Abintra is a Latin word meaning “from within.”  This is the base of our success with these clients.  We understand that changes can only come “from within.”  Now, there was a time in drug and alcohol counseling when this phrase meant something very different.  It meant that if a client did not have the intrinsic motivation to stay sober, then they would be confronted, ridiculed, labeled, and, if they still did not become motivated, kicked out of treatment, usually causing severe consequences in their lives.  But, the onus of the problem was placed on the client.  After all, they were in “denial.”

This is not what is meant by “from within” at all.  In fact, with this Abintra attitude, none of the above responses is condoned or even considered appropriate.  So, what does this “from within” really mean?  Well, I’m glad you asked.  This is an approach that emphasizes autonomy.  After all, nobody is going to make changes in their life, especially long-term changes, without the internal motivation to do so.  So, the Abintra attitude starts at the beginning, with where the client is at, even if they are mad at me at the start.  The founder of Person-Centered therapy, Carl Rogers, emphasized unconditional positive regard of clients, and other humans for that matter.  This means that, no matter what, we view them as being good, capable human beings and we accept them for where they are that.

In the coming weeks, I will be talking more about the Abintra attitude and what it means for clients, counselors, and people in general.  For now, let’s go back to the DMV, where instead of the worker being defensive or aggressive with you when you come in already having a bad day, imagine that they listen to you, if even for a moment, and that they actually understood your anger and frustration.  Wouldn’t that be nice.

Well, check back in on our blog, or better yet, bookmark us or follow us to find out more about this way of helping people.

Follow Us on Twitter: @AbintraCenter

Like Us on Facebook: @Abintra Counseling Center

Check out our YouTube Page: @AbintraCenter

For my first blog entry I do not want to talk about the death of Ms. Winehouse.  Rather, I want to talk about one of those deaths that the news media didn’t report, the death of an anonymous man in Omaha, Nebraska.  He died from an enlarged heart, one of the many lesser known side effects of binge alcohol use.  Sure, genetics played a role as well, but if it were not for his daily alcohol use, this anonymous Mr. S. certainly would not have died that fateful day in May, 2011. 
Getting that call changed things for me.  I was close to him.  He changed my life, but he was not able to change his own life.  It is only in looking back that we can fully appreciate the things we had, and more appropriately, the people we had. 
Even though I have worked in addiction counseling my entire professional career, prior to the passing of this man, I never had a face to put to the human toll that addiction costs us.  Now that I have purchased the private practice where I have worked the last five years, I dedicate my work to the memory of this man.  Here is his story:
Gary S. died in his bed after laying down to take a nap.  They say he didn’t feel any pain.  Perhaps this was a gift from God, as he had certainly experienced his fair share of pain during his all-to-short life.  The bed he died in was not his; it belonged to the mission where he spent his final days.  The one true blessing is that even though alcohol cost him his life, he died with no alcohol  in his blood. 
He ended up in the mission after years of pure alcoholic drinking that many thought would have killed him much sooner.  But, it wasn’t always that way.  He was once a very proud man, the owner of a business he started and grew, and the proud father of an all-state basketball player. 
In the end, all we are left with are the distant memories of the good times and the knowledge he died sober.  For that, we should be grateful.  And now, I return to the topic of today, the death of Amy Winehouse.  It is difficult to imagine how complicated her family’s grieving process will be by all the media coverage.  Addiction is a reality in life, but it is never a requirement. 
To conclude my first blog, I leave you with this idea: let Ms.Winehouse’s family grieve.  Celebrate her life, but don’t romanticize her addiction.  It didn’t have to be this way, for Amy or Gary.  Rest in peace.